HELLO!

For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die….a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance…I know that there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we live; it is God’s gift that all should eat, drink and take pleasure in all our toil. I know that whatever God does endures forever. Ecclesiastes 3:1,4,12-14

I have been pondering the way I prefer to share and receive information. As mentioned in previous blogs, I am a “glass half empty” type of person. I should say, I am not a typical “glass half empty” person in that I am often in a good mood, happiness is my default emotion, I am not a “Debbie-downer”, someone who is constantly seeing the flaws, complaining about how things are. That is NOT me. In fact, because I worry, assume the worst may happen, I am forever relieved, delighted, overjoyed, that things turned out as well as they did. As a realist, I never expect things to go my way, to work out as planned. My agenda is to only want the basics, I am happy with a good conversation, a good story, a long and vigorous walk, and a strong cup of coffee. I don’t require much to be happy. Most of my anxiety, is about “other” people, in community everyone expects some portion of what “they need” to be happy. My anxiety is about managing the expectations and needs of others.

Still, when asked for information I offer it the way I would hope to receive it, I start with what might be the worst-case scenario, is it as bad as it could be, and then explain some of the more positive outcomes, so whatever initial anxiety is dealt with immediately there is no waiting around for bad news. If there is bad news, I want to know immediately, no sugar coating, give it to me straight. Then, and only then, do I want to hear all the good news. I need to hear that too. I like to end on an upbeat note. I get frustrated with those who need to hear only positive news. Or on the other end of the spectrum, those who believe they live in a land where it is cold and miserable every day, all the time. The former seems to be living in an illusion. They get my hopes up. I try never to “over-promise”, false hope leads to deeper pain. On the other hand, there is always hope, always life, always joy, even in the midst of certain death. Finding that life is not a product of denial, in fact when we know that we will all die, one day, we can pivot to the time remaining. When I know time is finite, I can embrace the gifts of life that are accessible, real and all around us. I live in realism. There is a reason my favorite art is realism on one hand and post-impressionism on the other. When I look at life, I see the gritty, the struggle, the hard choices, and I also see the imagination come to life with bold colours, shards of hope, an impression of what might be. After Van Gogh’s voluntary commitment he painted several pictures with brilliant colour, agitated lines and distorted perspective, which include, among others, the Corridor in the Asylum.

As Ecclesiastes 3 reminds me, there is a time to mourn and a time to dance, and each one of these impulses is connected to the other. I want to know, first, the limits, the dawning mortality, the end, and then I want to dream, imagine, live with possibility into what remains. Peace, Kevin