HELLO!

Churches belong to the people who attend, govern and populate them with gifts and their passion for discipleship. I both celebrate and respect this. That is why when big decisions or small ones are dealt with by committees and boards, I offer guidance, experience and perspective, but leave the final choices to the lay leaders. In my previous church, there were two very big choices to be made, and in both cases, I was there to gather the best information so decision making could be based on the facts, not myths. One choice was a financial and property matter, so I neither was the most knowledgeable, nor the most concerned with the outcome, so I largely kept my role to making sure the process was understood by all members of the church. On the other matter, I was deeply invested in the outcome but made it clear to the church I had no vote, that I would likely be gone when the decision was made, and therefore they needed to do what they felt God was calling them to do.

At meetings here at Woodlawn, I have opinions but no vote (clergy do not vote in our UCC governance). Everyone knows I am opinionated and I am not subtle about expressing myself. However, and this shocks people when they see this in action, I am not one who needs to “get my way”, I am more flexible and able to accept decisions that are not my first choice, than most. I like to say I am much more opinionated than most and much more willing to be flexible than most. I confess, at 63, I find most conversations with others include a lot of insistence on things going in a certain direction and not as much on “I wonder what I could learn from others before we decide” than I would expect. For all the lack of self-confidence I hear in some, it does not seem to translate into seeking out others’ points of view. I always believe there may be a more informed, inspired and thoughtful answer to a question than the one I originally have formed. So I ask…opinions are one thing, the best outcome, based on possible pathways not yet considered, is another.

However, all this to say, when a committee does make a decision I accept it, work with it, and move on. But if it one I disagree with, I am not one to pretend I thought it was a good call. And if the outcome is as I imagined, I could be heard to say, “I did suggest this was a possibility”.

Team players still have memories, if things turn out better than imagined, I say, “you were right, I was wrong” and if my prediction is unpersuasive, yet things go as I suggested, I may say, “I told you so”. Kim says this is my most unattractive quality, but I imagine you have other examples.

Peace, Kevin