HELLO!

Late last night I received an email from Dianne Hill. It was heartfelt, reflective and full of prayer. In other words, it was Dianne. If you know my colleague, one of the former ministers who served Woodlawn United Church, you know the kind of words, feelings, and theology she would share. After we had exchanged emails that night, I asked Dianne if she wanted me to share her words, in the hopes they may speak to other families living with their grief for their child. Dianne did not hesitate, she said yes. “You are welcome to share this. Terry and I don’t hide when we feel we have an experience that might help another. That’s part of our life’s philosophy, another way of welcoming folks into our space of joy and suffering. Another way of offering hospitality. So, in our grief, sharing with those who’ve suffered the same, we are not only sharing our life but offering ourselves to be open to others pain, therefore, helping us to move forward.” For those who did not know Graeme, here is his obituary: https://walkerfh.com/tribute/details/450/Graeme-Hill/obituary.html#content-start

Before you read this reflection, written by Dianne, please consider the following. If you have experienced a sudden death among family and friends, especially one where the grief includes the expression “death by suicide” you might decide not to read any further. This blog may be triggering for you. I do not want this blog to be anything other than a healing experience, so please pray over whether to read further.

I asked Dianne whether she wanted to share this and I decided to include it because among those I support, who live in grief, many have told me, “Knowing we are not alone” and hearing how others are living with their grief, has been healing. I pray reading Dianne’s words is healing for you.

“Well, here you are, July. Once my favorite month of the year. But for the past nine years, it’s a month I suffer through. Nine years ago, on the 10^th, we rec’d word our 35 yr old son was missing in Toronto. Suffering through the week of hell, on the 17^th we were informed our son was found, deceased, in a city park. A long wait ensued. Wait for the coroner to do his work. Wait for the release of his body. Wait for the plane to arrive from Toronto with the precious Ashes of our Graeme. Finally, after a hellish month, we were able to have a Celebration of Life. I was hoping this might be the year…my niece is getting married on the 11^th. Terry and I celebrate our 49^th anniversary on the 9^th. A nephew turns 12 on the 26^th and our baby turns 40 on the 30^th. They are celebrations. Times to stop, time to remember. Time to focus on happy events. But grief doesn’t have a time frame. It sticks around, hauntingly, at every turn. Amazing faith. I know, “We are not alone”, God is with us. Every night for the past nine years, I re-commend our son into God’s care and keeping, knowing he is safe in the arms of Jesus.” Dianne Hill

Please keep Dianne, Terry and their family, in your prayers. July will be a very challenging time for them. I am grateful for how they share their journey, and walk beside us, through life’s mystery. Peace, Kevin