HELLO!

Murdock responded, “I’m fine”, when I asked him how he was doing and what I could share with his many friends at Woodlawn United. For those who have not followed Murdock’s news, which I have shared with his permission in this blog and during church services, our friend has been in hospital for some time now. He was having trouble swallowing (for those who love details) and his walking is still not deemed ready for discharge. Murdock tells me he gets rigorous walking drills each morning, and he is eager to hear the news he can go home. But not yet. If you want to know more, you can visit him as he loves visits. Murdock is in the Dartmouth General Hospital. A tip of the hat to one of new members of the Pastoral Care Team, Barrie Blank, who has been faithfully visiting Murdock for some time. When I mentioned Barrie’s name to Murdock, I received a 100 -watt smile and a thumbs up gesture. My only caution to potential visitors, hospital visits should not be lengthy. And try to do better than me at keeping your voice down. On the one hand, Murdock is thrilled he can hear every word I say, on the other hand I mentioned someone was living with migraines, and as I was leaving his room two people outside his room shared with me their own struggle with migraines. I am loud. Ouch!

Like yesterday, I had many visits today. These conversations remind me where I do well with pastoral care and where I can do better. I am good at getting people to open-up, to share some of their stories with me. I am genuinely interested in others (not necessarily in details). I am eager to listen to stories, particularly ones that reveal how people ended up where they are, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and theologically. I don’t correct or interrupt people, I am not nosy about people’s past, and I love to learn from others new ways to think about life’s challenges and blessings. Where I struggle is…silence. When a conversation reaches places of silence, not the ones where someone is emotional and searching for words (I am very patient in that area), but rather where a “lull” occurs in the conversation, I will reach in and try to find that topic that will bring my conversation partner to life. Where I fail is allowing the silence to lead to something unexpected. Sometimes silence can be a gateway to revelation or an unexpected twist in our dialogue. I will add this…I am aware of parishioners who have shared with me how they too struggle with long silences and when the patient minister or counsellor allows too much silence, it unnerves them. But I do give up too early and too easily on silences in the middle of conversation. This betrays my own discomfort with silence. Kim also adds, “You think other people have quick responses to every question, just like you. Sometimes silence is the other thinking over their answer. For most of us, that process takes time”. Ouch again!

Peace, Kevin

PS Bethe and I received this update: “Wanted to let you both know Ian loves the prayer shawl. It has become his security blanket for this trip. Thanks again for all the prayers”. Melissa Curl