HELLO!

I’m struck today with the various ways we deal with our stress. Mortality is a given. We are all going to die. There is no getting around this. However, in the time we have, between birth and death, there are opportunities to engage life, to find adventure, to experience beauty, joy, shalom (justice), to find “home”. Pious Christians like to focus on heaven, how wonderful it will be (despite the lack of particulars from Jesus, from the Bible). It’s a way to bypass the stresses of life, to think of the time after our death, and how that can provide solace to those hurting in this life. Given, how little we know about heaven, other than the promise of love eternal, I am more drawn to how deal with stress in this life.

The most common manner of stress reduction I have witnessed in this time is rest. I recall my supervisor as a student minister had been talking with his other student, and they had been conferring on my hyperactivity, how they both felt I needed more rest. The student, who had graduated with me at AST, called me and insisted I join him on a hot summer day, fishing. There we sat, being eaten by mosquitoes, hot sun, silence. Lloyd was in heaven, I hated it. He could tell and kept at me, “you need to embrace this, it is good for you.” I confess, when progressive people, “empaths” tell me “It’s good for you” I wonder if diversity has a different meaning for them than it does for me. Don’t get me wrong, I get tired, and I love to sit on my deck, in my Muskoka chair on a summer day. But as a stress reducer, rest is less effective than laughter. I find the absurdity of life does two things for me, it relaxes me, it also provides perspective.

One night a comedian mocked a billionaire coal mine owner about who a squirrel urged him into the coal business. The comedian created a giant squirrel costume and named him, Mr. Nutterbutter. The sight of this giant squirrel made me laugh out loud. I imagined him speaking to people, urging them to make life decisions. I could see someone I know, indecisive, being approached by a giant squirrel. I shared this vision with a few people at Woodlawn, it made them laugh too. And on the week before Halloween an anonymous person left a squirrel costume on my door. Most of you know the rest of this story, I wore it to the Coffee House, standing by the outdoor church sign. It was truly absurd.

Did this experience ease the suffering of others? Likely not. But did it reduce my stress, as a caregiver? Yes. And for me, laughter is as effective a stress reducer as rest, lighting a candle, listening to music with waterfalls sounds, or fishing, or meditating in silence. All of those means speak to many, I respect that and honour it. But not everyone.

Laughter, for me, is not a deflector. I lean into the hardships of life, when people tell me about loss, pain, separation, crisis, I do not attempt to “fix them” with “it’s all going to be OK”, because maybe it won’t. I listen, no advice. If asked I can offer a variety of responses I have witnessed by others who have been in similar circumstances. Sometimes these offerings bring an epiphany, a way forward. Sometimes not. But being heard, is a healing itself. But being a good listener does require the listener to find some peace for themselves. Laughter can be medicine.

Peace, Kevin

PS Bethe saw this image today and sent it to me. Laughter reduces stress.