HELLO!

A retired Baptist minister I have known for many years, David Watt, is now coordinating the worship services at Oakwood Terrace. David is “ageless” and carries his passion for ministry with him wherever he goes. David sent me this poster, advertising a workshop at Oakwood Terrace. “Bringing Light to Many Faces of Grief: Loss, Loneliness and Guilt” (10 Mount Hope Ave, Dartmouth) Friday, October 16^th $20.00 Registration, 9 AM to 12:30 PM. The facilitator is Rev. Dr. Jody Clarke, Professor of Pastoral Theology at the Atlantic School of Theology. Space is limited; participants must pre-register by October 12^th by calling Tracy at 469-3702 or email Tracy at taustin@oakwoodterrace.ns.ca Please consider attending. Jody was a professor of mine when I attended AST. His workshops and seminars are filled with helpful pastoral information.

Pastoral Care is one of my listed responsibilities in the job description I received when I applied for the ministerial position at Woodlawn United Church. Clergy are not credentialed counsellors. We have more training and experience than your average person on the street, but we do not have the education or specific skill set a licenced psychologist or psychiatrist does. One flaw I do not posses, I do not over-promise and I know my limitations. That being said, I am always eager and available to help. Lay people will often spend time with me between their appointments with a professional as I tend to be more familiar with them, time is less limited and we can discuss faith. One important thing to mention here, just because a counsellor is listed as “Christian” does not mean they are the best fit for your needs. Some Christians have social views on gender roles, sexual orientation and sin that may not be yours. Many secular counsellors, whose views on these issues are more like yours, are a better fit. We can discuss the spiritual parts of your journey.

I also think it is good to have some idea of what kind of support you need. When I was depressed (my doctor told me I had “situational depression”) I found all the counsellors used the same technique, they kept affirming me, telling me how worthy I was. That was not what I needed. I needed someone who could help me identify “what had gone wrong” and how to chart a course for a new beginning. Again, many people do struggle with self-esteem and need affirming support. Others, need to have an open discussion on what they are experiencing and what changes they need to make to feel whole again. When I am with people in pastoral care situations, I am attentive to their story, particularly the stories they want others to know about them. Often, in times of great stress, we find the story we share about ourselves change, or that old ones no longer speak to who we are now. Biblical stories can help but most often sharing a variety of stories can help someone identify a pathway that bring life.

At AST, in the late 80’s, we were given an approach to pastoral care championed by Carol Roger. Conversations would go like this, the person in distress would describe their situation. The minister would reply, “It sounds like you are saying…” The assumption behind this kind of care is the person may well know what they need, but only in a conversation do they hear themselves, thus to listen is key to helping those who are struggling to know their own voice, and possibly their source of healing.

I learn from everyone I meet. Humility is always a great place to begin. Peace, Kevin