HELLO!

Kim offered me some insight into my world yesterday that helped me understand some frustration I typically feel at meetings and planning sessions. I am struck by how others seem more fixated on things “going their way” than I do. Further, how people need things done in a very specific way, with certain outcomes. My own analysis of this leads me to this conclusion, the times we live in, where we can order specifically what we want, when we want it, in exactly the format we desire, gives us a sense of expectation our forebears did not have. I hear a lot of frustration in the voices of persons I meet each day. They want things done “their way”. And the funny thing is, they will see that in others, but never in themselves. I had a man tell me today about someone I have recently met, “she always needs to be right”. This is a man who recently left the Board of a local organization because it did not do as he wished.

Kim pointed out, “you also like things done your way, it’s just your way is not based on any outcome apart from completion”. Guilty as charged! The older I get, the more aware I am of my own mortality. In my mind, I want to “get things done”, and I can do more if I am less focused on everything being done “my way”. Letting go of control is easy for me, as I never did have a need for things to be “just so”. But the older I get, the more impatient I am with delay. And I can see a compromise from a mile away. I can see a “you get a half loaf, and you get a half loaf…” but typically what I hear is, “but…I want the whole loaf.” What Kim is telling me is, I may not car what kind of bread we make, what it looks like, how it tastes, but I want it made quickly, and I want lots of it. More, I want as many different hands making that bread as possible. She is right.

“My way” is “are many different hands involved” and “did we get it done”? So when I complain, it’s not “they did not wrong” but rather “they are taking too long” and “there aren’t enough different people involved”.

Do you have people in your life, like Kim is for me, who tell you the truth about you, even when it is uncomfortable? These are not people looking to poke you, criticize you, put you down. They love you. They want the best for you. They are not telling you to be like them, they are not doing dispensing advice that will lead to outcomes they want from you. But they are telling you the truth about you, identifying your blind spots.

I hope and pray you have people in your life like Kim, who hold up a mirror and show you what others see, even if we don’t see it.

Peace, Kevin