HELLO!

Please hold Nancy Greene in your prayers. Nancy’s husband Gary died recently, I found out today and called. Nancy and I had a good conversation, she gave me permission to share this sad news. I know the UCW will be there for her. She appreciates the support she is receiving.

I have been pondering today the kind of experiences that cause people to complain. I complain but…my first instinct (as consistency is my “north star”) is to consider my part in this disappointing moment. Then, I consider what the person or institution or system that has disappointed me has had to endure, what are the mitigating circumstances. I remember during the COVID lockdowns, going into the hospital or a restaurant and seeing the signs, asking visitors to be respectful of employees. At first, I was shocked. I have many, many flaws, but NONE of them are taking out my stress on innocent third parties. I have never done this, my wife, and brothers, not to mention friends and former parishioners, would back me up on this. As I have mentioned before, I have never lost my temper. So the idea of someone taking out their emotions on someone they have never met, seems foreign to me.

The complaining I hear most often is about mistakes, details that are inaccurate. I confess these things bother others more than me, I typically double check this information before I depart for an event, so if there is a mistake I usually uncover it on my own. What I complain about is…people not returning my calls and planning a worship service, researching-writing the sermon, and when it’s over the comments? “Your stole is crooked.”

What do you complain about? Another question to ponder, are you the kind of person other people like to share their complaints with? It could be you are a good listener, or it could be they believe you are a fellow traveler. I used to be someone whom others would share their complaints, but now, especially when the person complaining is upset by behaviour they themselves embody, I will ask, “Don’t you do that as well?”

Jerry sent me this funny video he saw on Facebook this morning. https://www.facebook.com/reel/1137679045596792  It reminded me of a retired minister and her husband who complained every Sunday about how difficult it was for them to find a parking space. Finally, a friend of theirs responded, “It could be worse, the parking lot might be empty.” When we run out of bulletins on Sundays, that story crosses my mind. Complaints can be signs of injustice or unfairness or possible dangers, that need to be addressed. I am grateful for complaints that lead me and the communities I serve to do better, to be better. I want to hear these complaints. I promise to work thoroughly and immediately to remedy these challenges. But there are also complaints that reveal less about an injustice and more about us and our very specific preferences. Knowing the difference, pondering this difference, provides me peace of mind.

Peace, Kevin