HELLO!

Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye but do not notice the log in your own eye? How can you say to your neighbour, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while the log is in your own eye? Matthew 7:3,4

I like to address commonly held beliefs in my sermons. I reflect on the conversations I have, often there are themes that keep repeating themselves. All of us, myself included, have blind spots. As the Gospels reveal, we typically notice the speck in the other’s eye and forget the log in our own. We love to give advice, based on our own experience, but we bristle when others do the same to us. I recall someone at coffee hour, in a previous church, taunting me because I like higher quality coffee, and thus more expensive. She was “giving it to me”. “It must be nice, Daddy Warbucks, to have the money to buy such expensive coffee.” With that I decided it was time to offer the “speck/log” response. “I like to spend a extra on coffee, as you like to do the same on lottery tickets”. She was startled. “How do you know I buy lottery tickets?”, she asked. “They are falling out of your purse”, I responded. Never throw rocks in glass houses.

I come from a political background. When we were messaging our campaigns, to advance the causes we were championing, we needed to look at various voting blocks; seniors, the middle class, young people, etc…It wasn’t we were “judging them” or demonizing them, it was we were attempting to find language that would resonate to their experience. I do a lot of public speaking, at a variety of venues. I make it a point to include stories and language I believe will connect with that audience. I am always authentically me, but I choose stories/language I hope will be relevant to the listeners. I was asked, at one gathering, to speak about why it is so hard to increase government supports for those living in poverty. I pointed out, based on thousands of conversations, many middle-class people are fixated on “you need to pull up yourself up by your bootstraps, work harder” Later, someone challenged me on my generalization about the middle-class. It’s true, not all middle-class people think this way. But it also true, politicians, seeking middle class votes, are wary of this type of thinking. Ironically, the same person who challenged me on that generalization is someone I know well, and their favorite generalization are differences between women and men. In all my conversations with this person, not once has she failed to comment on “men are from mars and women are from venus”. In my experience, this generalization is overstated. For instance, many women and men tell me women are more emotional. Yet one reason men tell me they cannot visit in hospitals or visit the sick is “I get too emotional”. Many women and men tell me women listen and men give advice. Yet, in my experience, most of the unsolicited advice I received, came from women. You will rarely hear me generalize about gender. I do generalize, but never about race, ethnicity or orientation, as these words are typically used with hurtful intent. Rather, when I reference a demographic, it is usually to help with messaging, so I can reach a variety of people. I never assume others think like me. Your privileged, white, straight, male, minister.

Peace, Kevin

PS Today someone made fun of me for not being a hugger, as that is not “normal”. It’s fascinating how we assume we are the “normal” ones.